Fall Arrives

Oddly, I feel good about this fall,I am not depressed by the summer passing. Usually I get grumpy and depressed, my good friend the sun has gone and all that is left is the long grey months of fall and winter.

Today it is windy, the leaves are flying from the trees. I am groggy and want to go back to sleep. I have my coffee,a soft blanket, and my usual spot on the couch. I hurt, as usual, fibromyalgia and arthritis are working me over.

It is Monday, and all the working people are scurrying around, trying to get out the door and beat the traffic. I listen to them drive by, glad I am done with all that, yet missing the camaraderie. The sound of the wind suddenly pummels the chimney and I jump. I love storms, especially the kind that are windy and intermittently rainy. I love the spectacle of lightning, but I am also afraid of it.

20130923-091032.jpg

Pain….

Ugh, tired of losing my mind, living in brain fog, dealing with pain that won’t let me sleep! Tired of people that think that I’m ok when I am in pain and choose not to say anything. Tired of finally complaining about pain and being treated like its either a new thing (because I haven’t said anything for a while) or that I’m whining. I’m not a attention whore, I have always been a hard worker, I always took pride in trying to be an expert at my work. Being told that I have to do something about it, snap out of it, push through it. I’ve been dealing with pain for many many years, don’t they think I know the difference between pain I can fight and pain I can’t? Don’t they see that my admitting I have pain is so that I can get some understanding and help with things I can’t do because of the fatigue and pain? So basically, you don’t want to hear about it, deal with it or understand it, you would rather I just shut up and get things done?!? Don’t you think I want it to go away? Every thing I do takes energy out of me, there isn’t anything putting energy back in. Meds only do so much, they have side effects, some can be deadly if not taken correctly, most make me sleepy. Combine sleepiness, fatigue, and pain, and I could easily sleep for another six hours a day and not blink. And people wonder why I’m depressed!

Some of the most beautiful places are deadly…

IMG_2472

This is Eagle Falls on the Skykomish River. To the right of this picture is a cliff wall and overhanging foliage, where there are rope swings hanging down. People swim in this section of the river, but it’s really REALLY cold, the currents are unpredictable, and there are rocks that are unseen as well as debris to get caught on. Still, people actually jump in here, and some even go down the falls in various types of boats. Recently, an 18 year old boy went fishing here and decided to jump in to cool off. He was swept downriver about 200 feet, and washed up on the shore drowned. Beauty can be deadly. RIP

Spring, and I’m not awake enough to appreciate it…

 

ImageSo here is a picture of cherry blossoms… my phone takes great pics if I pay attention to what I’m doing. But really, I just want to go back to bed and sleep…all day. Storm clouds rolling in and the barometer just HAS to hammer nails into my joints. But I must keep moving…I will not surrender and become flabby (um…flabbier), or lose my ability to walk, regardless of the pain I experience when I do. Wish I knew a way to make the rest of me keep going as well. Coffee here I come!!!